it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
