she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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