when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
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