Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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