as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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