everyone is single if you try hard enough
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
