its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
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