also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
