I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
