I faked an abortion last night.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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