I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
