1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
i believe in u and ur pee
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
