We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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