Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Randomize
