He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
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