He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
