My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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