Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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