ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
im holly from the hills drunk
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
