How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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