I hate all girls vehemently.
If that was your dad, he is hot
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
