Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
