I love black thongs
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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