i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I think I died a long time ago.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
