Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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