she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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