If i come over, it means nothing
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Randomize
