Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
