He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Randomize
