All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
