just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Randomize
