"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
