This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize