first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
