I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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