You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
