I wanna bring you to show and tell
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
They took my balls.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
