Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
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