I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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