I can tuck mytits in my pants
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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