i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
