I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I think my fart just growled at me.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
