i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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