Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
