Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize