laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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