Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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