Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
