I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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