I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
