Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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