Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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