I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
