butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Everything about him screamed your future.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
so much tequila, so little girl.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
