Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
