Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Randomize
