You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
