I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
