so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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