Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
