I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
