hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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