the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
