# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
