College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
