Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
