...so i touched it.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I want to fling myself into the sun
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Randomize
