he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize