I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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