don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
You need a sexual gate keeper
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
You ate ashes out of my bong
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
