Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize